Living
by Neo-Queen Selenity
Summary: A story after the events of the first Wild ARMs, from Rudy's point of view. Slight R x C.


Mwuah! My fic about Rudy Roughknight. A bit of something from his point of  
view. Also a brief description of when Elizabeth possessed him. No flames.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Living  
  
  
I can't take it anymore. This horrible feeling about my heart, constricting the  
muscle tighter and tighter...that is, if I do have a heart. Maybe the Elws who  
created me forgot to put one.  
  
No. I shouldn't think like that. I have a heart. I can love. I can feel joy, pain  
anger, peace...everything a human feels. Yet I'm not human. I'm a damned  
inbred; meant to be nothing but a killing machine. The Guardians have played  
with my life. They made sure I achieved my purpose. I fought the Metal Demons  
along with Cecilia and Jack. My fate was sealed one thousand years ago.  
  
Cecilia is watching me now. Watching me as I stand here at my grandfather's  
grave, with these thoughts running through my mind. I wonder what's going on  
in her mind. Does she pity me? Maybe. Sometimes it's hard to tell what goes  
on behind that mask of beauty. I respect her greatly, despite her naive ways.  
She's a true friend, proven time and time over. Jack is beside her, his eyes  
piercing holes into my skull. He says nothing, but I know he's wondering what  
I'm thinking.  
  
I focus my gaze on Zepet's grave now. The one who had found me...raised me  
as a human, to have a pure heart. Ironic, in a sense. That I should be so pure  
when I've killed so many. But it's as Zepet told me....  
  
"In order for us to live, we must kill to survive."  
  
It was one of the first things he ever taught me, once I was old enough to know  
what he meant. It's something I'll never forget. It's helped me hold to my sanity  
somewhat...yet everyday I'm slipping deeper and deeper into my own mental  
abyss. I'm afraid; Cecilia immediately comes forward as I start trembling.  
  
"Rudy? What's wrong...?" Her voice is so soft against my ear, as if she's afraid  
I'll shatter if her voice rises.  
  
I merely shake my head to indicate nothing was the matter. I hardly ever talk.  
I prefer to keep my ideas to myself.  
  
However, I lean gently against Cecilia. My mind flashes back to when I found  
out I wasn't human. I am a Holmcross; created by Elws with the flesh of the  
Metal Demons to be the Ultimate Killing Machine. The others were killed but I  
had survived somehow. Then Zepet found my frozen body and brought me to  
life.  
  
* My left arm had been cut off. It was the only way I could get away from the  
Demon Zeikfried as he had grabbed me, determined to kill me as he was  
sucked into the dead dimension. So I took my sword, and sliced off my own  
left arm.  
  
I've never felt such phsyical pain; I don't intend to again.  
  
Cecilia and Jack took me to the Elw Dimension. To the one that had created  
me. The Elw had agreed to give me a new arm. So he did.  
  
For the rest of the day I had been trapped in my dreams. Cecilia was there;  
sucked into my dreams while she had been waiting for me to wake up. There  
she found the Metal Demon Elizabeth, who wanted me to live forever in the  
nightmarish Hell of my dreams.  
  
Cecilia killed her. Then as I lay there, gasping for air and trying to open my eyes,  
Cecilia held me gently and whispered something I'll never forget.  
  
"In order to be loved by someone...you have to love somebody else first...thank you  
Rudy."  
  
I woke up. She was asleep on the floor beside me. I got up and stood at the window,  
waiting for the Princess to awaken. Once she did, she spoke to me again. And then  
Raftina was freed from her statue.  
  
Raftina, the Guardian of Love. She gave her magical powers to Cecilia, as all Guardians  
do, and then we were on our way to save Filgaia, though Jack gave me Hell because  
the statue was broken due to Cecilia's love for me.*  
  
But now to the present. The world had been saved, the three of us were still together,  
and I was here to pay my last respects to my grandfather who had departed when I was  
fourteen. Now sixteen, I have seen the world in a way most humans never have.  
  
I turn to Cecilia. With a rare smile, I lean my head against her shoulder. "Thanks..."  
  
She merely smiles slowly, letting me lean against her for a few more minutes before  
turning to Jack. "We're going to Rosetta next, right?"  
  
"Right." Jack gives me a wink. "Ready to go?"  
  
I look at Zepet Roughknight's grave one more time. Then I turn to Jack and Cecilia to  
nod. "I'm ready."  
  
And so we take off; ready to visit the world again. 


End file.
